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essay for the STEP-1st-grade test

Had written an esssay the other day then got this corrected one yesterday. Wrote this one within 30minutes like the same situation in the STEP test. Honestly, I'm not a good proofreader, so there are so many easy mistakes especially articles.

Should we save endangered species?

(ORIGINAL)

Some people say that it is important to expand farmland and industry for our life, but others say that animals, especially endangered species should be protected their lives. In my opinion, protecting their lives is more important and it can help our life and environment.
First, animals have close relationship to the environment. In Amazon rain forest, a lot of trees have been logged, so some animals are losing their habitat. If they disappear, it will affect to ecosystem and lead to spread of epidemic. Destroying ecosystem will affect to our lives.
Secondly, extinction of some animals will lead to our food crisis. Almost all animals has close relationship each other, which is called "food chain". If some kinds of animals extinct, other animals which eat them for food may die for lack of food. Food chain is very intricate, and if some species die, it may lead to our food shortage.
In addition, some species affect growing of crops. Flowers can bear fruits by pollens carried by bees and butterflies. Now it is said that one of butterflies are facing extinction. If they disappear, people can not get crops or fruits in the future. Animals can affect our daily foods.
Many animals affect our food and environment. If we lose some of these animals, we may face some serious dangers. People should pay attention and protect these endangered species. (230words)




(NEW)

Some people say that it is important to expand farmland and industry for our life, but others say that animals, especially endangered species should be protected their lives . In my opinion, protecting their lives is more important and it can help our life and environment
First, animals have a close relationship to the environment. In the Amazon rain forest, a lot of trees have been logged, so some animals are losing their habitat. If they disappear, it will affect to the ecosystem and lead to spread of epidemic. Destroying the ecosystem will affect to our lives.
Secondly, extinction of some animals will lead to our food crisis. Almost all animals have a close relationship with each other, which is called "food chain". If some kinds of animals become extinct, other animals which eat them for food may die for lack of food. Food chain is very intricate, and if some species die, it may lead to our food shortage.
In addition, some species affect growing of crops. Flowers can bear fruits by pollens carried by bees and butterflies. Now it is said that one type of butterflies is facing extinction. If they disappear, people can not get crops or fruits in the future. Animals can affect our daily foods.
Many animals affect our food and environment. If we lose some of these animals, we may face some serious dangers. People should pay attention and protect these endangered species
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15 08-2009 essay Trackback:0Comment:0

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