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essay; Should organ transplants be more available in Japan?

Should organ transplants be more available in Japan?

【original】
It is reported that the number of organ transplants in Japan is much smaller than that of in other countries, such as the U.S. and Canada. I believe, however, that more organ transplants should be applied to patients in Japan.
Firstly, domestic organ availability can reduce patients’ burden on money. So far, most patients who want to undergo transplantation go abroad paying huge money on travel and life expenses. However, most of the patients can not afford to pay for them. If organ transplantation become more available in Japan, they can receive a organ transplant at a low price.
Secondly, organ transplants can raise patients’quality of life. Some patients, who are suffer from kidney disorder for example, have to take kidney dialysis treatments three times a week, about five hours each. If they can receive another kidney, they do not have to take dialysis any more. Organ transplants can give patients more free time.
Lastly, legal organ transplantation can reduce illegal organ trades. In poor countries, some people sell their organs to gain some money. In addition, they tend to be involved in illegal trades and exploited. Expanding legitimate transaction will reduce criminal trades.
In conclusion, organ transplants can reduce patients' burden on money and life and illegal transactions. It should be applied more to save patients in Japan.




【corrected】
.It is reported that the number of organ transplants in Japan is much smaller than that of in other countries, such as the U.S. and Canada. I believe, however, that more organ transplants should be applied to patients in Japan.
Firstly, domestic organ availability can reduce patients’ burden on money expenses . So far, most patients who want to undergo transplantation go abroad paying huge amounts of money on travel and life expenses. However, most of the patients can not afford to pay them. If organ transplantation becomes more available in Japan, more they people can receive an organ transplant at a low price.
Secondly, organ transplants can raise patients’ quality of life. Some patients, who are suffering from kidney disorders for example, have to take kidney dialysis treatments three times a week, about five hours each time . If they can receive another kidney, they do not have to take dialysis any more. Organ transplants can give patients more free time.
Lastly, legal organ transplantation can reduce illegal organ trades. In poor countries, some people sell their organs to gain some money. In addition, they tend to be involved in illegal trades and exploited. Expanding legitimate transactions will reduce criminal trades.
In conclusion, organ transplants can reduce patients' burden on money and life and illegal transactions. organ transplants can reduce patients' expenses, raise quality of life and prevent illegal transactions. It should be applied more to save assist patients in Japan


The teacher gave me some good adovices, suggesting another example.
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08 10-2009 essay Trackback:0Comment:0

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