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essay: The prevention of crime is more important than the protection of privacy.

Agree or disagree: The prevention of crime is more important than the protection of privacy.

■ Points - use three of the POINTS below
・Terrorism
・Technology
・Internationalization of crime
・Misuse of data
・Surveillance
・Freedom

【original】

Some people say that crimes should be prevented in advance, but others say that privacy should be protected in any cases. I believe, however, that preventing crime is more important than keeping privacy.
Firstly, censorship can reduce the danger of terrorism. There was a heinous terrorism occurred in the US once, and then the government has decided to censor correspondence using specific technology. To the government, protecting citizens from attacks is important, thus this kind of censorship is necessary to be applied.
Secondly, crimes have become more internationalized. Many criminals try to run away to the other country and stay there in secret. To avoid this, many countries today take fingerprints from immigrants at the airports. To prevent criminals from escaping, it is reasonable to get prints.
Lastly, people have the right to know. If a criminal lives in the town, people would like to know about it because they want to protect themselves and their family members from crimes. The criminal may cause other crimes again, hence it is natural for people to want to know about his/her information.
In conclusion, the prevention of crime has priority compared with the protection of privacy and it leads us to live in safe in our societies.

204words




【corrected】

Some people say that crimes should be prevented in advance, but others say that privacy should be protected in every case. I believe, however, that preventing crime is more important than keeping privacy.
Firstly, censorship can reduce the danger of terrorism. There was a A heinous act of terrorism occurred in the US once, and then the government has decided to censor correspondence using specific technology. To the government, protecting citizens from attacks is important, thus it is necessary for this kind of censorship is necessary to be applied.
Secondly, crimes have become more internationalized. Many criminals try to run away to the another country and stay there in secret. To avoid this, many countries today take fingerprints from immigrants at the airports. To prevent criminals from escaping, it is reasonable to get prints.
Lastly, people have the right to know. If a criminal lives in the their town, people would like to know about it because they want to protect themselves and their family members from crimes. The criminal may cause other crimes again, hence it is natural for people to want to know about his/her information.
In conclusion, the prevention of crime has priority compared with the protection of privacy and it leads us to live in safely in our societies.

テーマ:頑張れ自分。 - ジャンル:日記

15 10-2009 essay Trackback:0Comment:0

essay; Should organ transplants be more available in Japan?

Should organ transplants be more available in Japan?

【original】
It is reported that the number of organ transplants in Japan is much smaller than that of in other countries, such as the U.S. and Canada. I believe, however, that more organ transplants should be applied to patients in Japan.
Firstly, domestic organ availability can reduce patients’ burden on money. So far, most patients who want to undergo transplantation go abroad paying huge money on travel and life expenses. However, most of the patients can not afford to pay for them. If organ transplantation become more available in Japan, they can receive a organ transplant at a low price.
Secondly, organ transplants can raise patients’quality of life. Some patients, who are suffer from kidney disorder for example, have to take kidney dialysis treatments three times a week, about five hours each. If they can receive another kidney, they do not have to take dialysis any more. Organ transplants can give patients more free time.
Lastly, legal organ transplantation can reduce illegal organ trades. In poor countries, some people sell their organs to gain some money. In addition, they tend to be involved in illegal trades and exploited. Expanding legitimate transaction will reduce criminal trades.
In conclusion, organ transplants can reduce patients' burden on money and life and illegal transactions. It should be applied more to save patients in Japan.




【corrected】
.It is reported that the number of organ transplants in Japan is much smaller than that of in other countries, such as the U.S. and Canada. I believe, however, that more organ transplants should be applied to patients in Japan.
Firstly, domestic organ availability can reduce patients’ burden on money expenses . So far, most patients who want to undergo transplantation go abroad paying huge amounts of money on travel and life expenses. However, most of the patients can not afford to pay them. If organ transplantation becomes more available in Japan, more they people can receive an organ transplant at a low price.
Secondly, organ transplants can raise patients’ quality of life. Some patients, who are suffering from kidney disorders for example, have to take kidney dialysis treatments three times a week, about five hours each time . If they can receive another kidney, they do not have to take dialysis any more. Organ transplants can give patients more free time.
Lastly, legal organ transplantation can reduce illegal organ trades. In poor countries, some people sell their organs to gain some money. In addition, they tend to be involved in illegal trades and exploited. Expanding legitimate transactions will reduce criminal trades.
In conclusion, organ transplants can reduce patients' burden on money and life and illegal transactions. organ transplants can reduce patients' expenses, raise quality of life and prevent illegal transactions. It should be applied more to save assist patients in Japan


The teacher gave me some good adovices, suggesting another example.

テーマ:頑張れ自分。 - ジャンル:日記

08 10-2009 essay Trackback:0Comment:0

essay; Have women's attitudes toward work changed?

Have women's attitudes toward work changed?

【original】
A few decades ago, many women in Japan used to work for a few years after graduating high school, and then got married with someone. However, now women’s attitude toward work has dramatically changed.
Firstly, many women now can earn much enough to be independent. Some women have been promoted in companies and get good income. It is reported that some of them do not want to be married with anyone and buy their own house on their own. A couple of decades ago, almost all women could not afford to buy a house and live alone. Many women now are gaining strong power in society and earn money.
Secondly, some women now work for jobs which were once seen as gender-related jobs. An aviation company, which name is JAL, now employs some women as a pilot. In addition, some women now work as a fire fighter. These jobs were once considered as a male’s job. Many women have been trying these tough jobs recently.
Lastly, higher education among women has changed women’s role in society. About fifty years ago, few women went to university, but now many women study there and some can get MBA at school. As they get higher education, they can get more opportunities for work and higher salary. Education has expanded women’s opportunities toward work.
In conclusion, now many women have more opportunities for job and become more independent than ever. I believe that women’s role toward work has changed.




【corrected】

A few decades ago, many women in Japan used to work for a few years after graduating from high school, and then get married with someone. However, now women’s attitude s toward work have dramatically changed.
Firstly, many women now can earn much enough to be independent. Some women have been promoted in companies and get a good income. It is reported that some of them do not want to be married with anyone and want to buy their own house on their own. A couple of decades ago, almost all women could not afford to buy a house and live alone. Many women now are gaining strong power in society and earn good money.
Secondly, some women now work for in jobs which were once seen as gender-related jobs. An aviation company, which whose name is JAL, now employs some women as a pilot s . In addition, some women now work as a fire fighter s . These jobs were once considered as a male’s job. Many women have been trying these tough jobs recently.
Lastly, higher education among women has changed women’s role in society . About fifty years ago, few women went to university, but now many women study there and some can get an MBA at school. As they get higher education, they can get more opportunities for work and higher salary. Education has expanded women’s opportunities toward s work.
In conclusion, now many women have more opportunities for job work and have become more independent than ever. I believe that women’s role toward work has changed.


The teacher pointed out there are lots of easy mistakes........hahaha

テーマ:頑張れ自分。 - ジャンル:日記

05 10-2009 essay Trackback:0Comment:0

Anything New?

I haven't posted new entries recently, but have written some essays for the STEP test. Every time I write a essay, I find that it's difficult to correct my way of writing so quickly. That's why I almost give up sophisticating my essay and then just pay attention to my typo and grammatical errors. Before writing essay, I'm always planning what to write brainstorming ideas on a paper. It takes about five mitutes, then start writing sentenses on an answer sheet. It takes about twenty minutes to finish writing, and then I read it to find some errors. Though I think that it's important to read some essays written by others to get some hints for my esssay, I don't have enough time to do so. I'll write essays and journals everyday from now on.

テーマ:ひとりごとだよ。独り言。(-?ゝ-)ゞ - ジャンル:日記

05 10-2009 about me Trackback:0Comment:0

essay; Agree or disagree: The Internet should be subject to censorship

Agree or disagree: The Internet should be subject to censorship

【original】
Under the Japanese constitution, everyone has right to write and speak anything freely. I believe, however, that some authorities should censor the Internet in today’s society.
Firstly, censorship can protect us from Internet fraud. Now many people use online-shopping and auction sites, but some of them have experience of being cheated. Their ways of cheating have become more complicated and it is difficult to protect us from these crimes. Some specific censorship should be applied to solve this problem.
Secondly, there are many illegal pornography on the net. People can easily upload this kind of photos and sell or buy them on the Internet. In Japan, a lot of illegal pornography has been circulating on the net, but there is few effective law to regulate it. It is about time to enact a strict law for these illegal photos.
Lastly, it has become necessary to prevent children from harassment on the net. It is reported that some students have committed suicide due to the bullying on the net. Now young children or students can easily access to the net, so it is important for them to be protected from these dangerous and harmful information.
In conclusion, there are dangerous and criminal information on the net, though there is not a effective protection for it. I believe that the Internet should be censored by the organization.




This one also is to be corrected within a couple of days.

テーマ:頑張れ自分。 - ジャンル:日記

05 10-2009 essay Trackback:0Comment:0
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